oh so sorry for those who actually follow me when i only find time to spam and reblog my picture. this is not for you, this is for me. i feel like i need to keep track of my being

my life this style, everything im seeing.

it goes a little something like this. 

im fucking stressed. i dont like girls, i love them and its my fucking fatal flaw

actually what is my fatal flaw is caring too much, sue me nothings changing.

i think im falling for my friend…what do i mean i never stopped liking her, i just said we could be friends because something is better than nothing. the problem is that we are friends and we are becoming best friends and i love it but i hate it at the same time. shes got some things to figure out and i really just need a friend. she seems pretty genuine and shes relatively close.

but thats not a bad thing in my life. i let her  and she let me in and now were both in each others worlds. 

so now that i have a good enough friend i can complain about these girls. these girls. as i am trying to move on and pursue those who want me to i find this one chick who knew me of my status i guess? ahha what status. but i know i make her feel good, i make her smile. SHES JUST SO BAD WITH HER PHONE and im pretty damn needy and….she lives far away. whats up with these far chicks named jess living in mt. pleasant?

cant get enough of them.i dont feel like im her type but she insists i am. i mean we finally kissed (one kiss) recently. i dont fucking know

i still love my ex but i dont think she loves me. this new girl will inevitably make me care less about how being so attached to my phone…

i need someone to cuddle with. i cuddle with two girls two different times and i insisted on being little spoon just to feel someone elses presense…

i need to get some chinese food and go the fuck to sleep

and write this paper

and masterbate

and am only being real.

only doing this because i need a diary.